RRR - the Aftermath, um, er Afterglow

I had planned to write more about the next few days after the run (the title belonged to the planned post), but it has been too long now. We come home to Rick coming down with COVID and TWMiH needing course marking and details worked out, and run, to immediately going into course marking for the Big Brad Ultras (the most intense marking of all the races).

What did happen in the days after, while I was out doing all the jobs and having all the alone time with Rick isolating in the bedroom, I began to go over the race. I was killing it. I really was. I felt good about my training, my return to Tailwind, but was thinking about how close I was. Uh oh, was there already a Rocky sequel in the planning stages? I think I needed more core strength. I know I did really well, but I could finish, couldn't I? What if I really worked on my core? I think I want to find out. 

Then at Hell, Jedi told me he was going to do RRR next year. Hmm, I told him that Rick wouldn't want me talking to him. Rick always jokes that my 100s were all Jedi's fault. Well, before Hell I was 75% sure I was going back, after 85%. Now I would say I'm going back. I'll probably use my same running training plan, but add a core routine.

RRR - Trudging and a New Type of Fun

Eight point two miles to Long Lake. I was now in my shorts, Tammy's TMR tee, and my white TMR hat. This was how I wanted to finish. I think Tanya can verify that for a good stretch of this leg, I would still do a form of running whenever the trail was smooth. Now, pretty much at a 90 degree angle, I could only see the trail right in front of me. I could bend my neck to look ahead, but couldn't do that very long without my neck really complaining. Once when I stopped to stand up (my back felt much better, well less painful, when standing up, but I couldn't move forward that way), Tanya told me to lift my arms straight over my head. She said Tami K taught her that and would say, " XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX" Well, damn. My arms could barely lift my hands to head level. No stretching for me. OH! I could try my fake kitty yoga. I got down on all fours in the trail and tried a few of my "yoga" poses. Yeah, that wasn't helping. We only could laugh at me as she helped me stand back up.

I knew we were getting close to Long Lake, but I was definitely having less and less running or power walking sections. I complained to Tanya, "I wish there was something that didn't hurt. Sigh. Tanya was kind, yet firm. There was no talk about stopping ever and she encouraged me to move faster all the time. I know one time when I was griping about my back, she said, but you're still going!! Yeah, what choice do I have. She agreed, there would be no helicopters! 

There's the aid station!! Someone asked if I wanted to see the medic. Yes, please. They plopped me in a chair and the medic came over. He asked if I wanted the massage gun, CBD oil, or, hmmm, I know there was another option. I said I wanted everything. While he was getting the tool, I coughed in unison with my aid station chair neighbor. We bonded over the cough...so much dust inhaled on the trail. She asked about my back. I tried to talk about it, but said, I think I'm going to cry. It was more relief that maybe I could get some relief. Everyone was all, go ahead and cry. The consensus was there is definitely crying in ultras. I more just had tears leak out.

The gun was painful, but I think it might have been helping. Then came the CBD oil. Then a regular ol' massage. I asked him what he thought about ibuprophen. He said as long as a person is well hydrated and peeing (oh, hell, I was peeing way to much...did I mention I would fall over when I tried to squat??!), that (3) 200 mg tablets were fine to take every 6 hours. Well, I'd had the one Mindy gave me which was still in the dark I think. And then I had raided the one I'd had in my pack for years somewhere before Summit. He handed me three.

Tanya had put some pancakes in foil for me at the last aid station that had them so I could have more along the way, but we were now out. They had hash browns. Why not. I don't like to take advil, but I really don't like to take things on an empty stomach. I downed one and started on a second. Tanya checked on hot chocolate for me as soon as we pulled in. They'd just dumped it; it wasn't moving. Somehow, Tanya got them to make some just for me. She was good at getting the aid stations to give me something I wanted. I took two of the pills and thought to save the other one...I really don't like taking anything.

Karl Meltzer came over (it's his aid station). He said, "you're what we call a leaner. I've been one myself, but I've never seen anyone as bad as you." Wow, I'm sure he's seen a lot. I said, well, you can't go 89 miles and give up. I've got lots of time. He said, "What's your number? I want to see if you finish." 800. 

We better go. 6.8 miles to Mt Warner. Whoa! I stood upright and took a few steps. The guy had helped. Let's get going!!! I don't think it was even a half mile before I was totally folded again. Shit! I'm going to take that third advil. Not that the first two did anything. Tanya thought that it hadn't had time to work yet. 

She said it would be great to get in a few 20 minute miles, but we could do 25 min miles and still probably make the cut off. She tried to get me to put in some running stretches. Could I? I don't know at this point. I do know that sitting was the only position where I wasn't in pain. I looked for rocks of the proper height. We don't have time for you to sit long. OK, just a few seconds. I may also have fallen off a few that I thought (or hoped) were the proper height. 

Did I mention that every now and then my right foot would cross over my left? I'd end up either 45 or 90 degrees to the trail. WTF, Tanya. She said, well, you're not just bent, your twisted too. I think we both had to laugh. How much longer to the aid station? Just 5 miles. JUST? JUST? ok, just keep going. 

Tanya started running by my side...this was single track so she was in not very nice footing. But it was like we were doing kid's candlestick bowling and the kid needed the bumper in the alley to play at all. Tanya was my bumper to keep me in the lane. She may still have the bruises to prove it. More and more runners started to pass us. Most tried to give encouragement or salt tabs. Lol, I wished it was something salt tabs could solve. Tanya thanked them and cheered them on. I don't think I said much.

How much farther? Just a little over 3.5. No. No! NO! We've been out here forever. I'm not sure when I realized that Tanya was really not discouraging me from taking breaks. Hmmm, we were not going to make the cutoff. Yeah, Tanya said we could put in a few 25 minute miles, not 45. 

Tanya, this isn't type 2 fun or any of the the others. This is type 0 fun. None. And then we both laughed. Ok, it sucked. It seemed never ending, but we could still laugh. Then she said we should keep moving though because we wanted to be out before dark. I'm really trying.

Was it around 2 or 1.5 miles to go when the 100 mile sweeper came through. He was a pharmacist and worried about my kidneys being the problem, especially when I mentioned ibuprofen. No, no, I am peeing more than fine and the ibuprofen was in response the the back pain, not the other way. He was very nice, but very, very chatty. Tanya finally tried to shut him down. We need to focus on moving, not talking. She's a forced. A pink one, but no less powerful.

It was starting to get dark and chilly. We needed to be done. I was done. Sigh. Finally, finally, the aid station. They were breaking it down, but they were concerned and wonderful. I think I got a can of ginger ale and Tanya wrapped me in a space blanket. I could sit in a chair!!! I was pretty painfree, or at least in comparison, that it just felt good to be.

The aid station was run by a family, dad, mom and three young kids. The kids said everyone told them about us and were worried. I said to the dad, can you make sure you record me? I want credit/proof I made it. Almost 96 miles. It would have been all down hill from here. I said to Tanya that it was probably good that I timed out. Could you see me trying to go down the hill bent like that??? I would have been eating dirt. No way could my arms have supported me. 

They gave us a ride back to town in a very tall pick up down the bumpy dirt road. That sucked, but I was in a sitting position with a great seat heater and the heat blowing right on me. I texted Rick that we were getting a ride in the sag wagon. They dropped us in town close to the start/finish. I didn't recognize where we were at all. The dad said if we walked over to that row of lights, it was escalators that would take us down to the field. It would have been another funny video if someone filmed the mom and Tanya trying to help me out of the truck. 

So bent over me, my poles, and Tanya started toward the row of lights. Across the way, a guy in a suit or at least neatly dressed yelled over something like, "Hey hundred runner! Rabdo?" Both Tanya and I assumed he was with the race. He hurried over. We said we were making our way to the escalator and that I didn't have Rabdo. Agian we talked with a stranger about my peeing. He said for me to hop on; he'd give me a piggy back ride. Huh? Um, no. The next thing I know he's scooped me off my feet and is literally running with me to the lights. 

This is where I realized he was not with the race. He said something about having to be somewhere. I realized he'd been drinking. But then, there we were at the top of the escalators and he was running the other direction. He did save us a slog. I think Tanya got a good hold on me as we made our way down the escalator. Um, we're still not  where we need to be, but there are chairs over there that are near fire pits. We went to sit and warm. I called Rick. We sort of described our location and waited for them to find us.

I thought about the end of Rocky where Apollo Creed says to Rocky, "There ain't gonna be no rematch" and Rocky says, "Don't want one" I don't know if my body is Apollo and my brain is Rocky or the reverse, but you get the idea. Rick did point out to me there were many more Rocky's after that. 

Ok I think I lied. I'll do one more wrap it up installment. But, at least I covered the 96 miles and 20,000' of elevation.

RRR - slowly I bent step by step....

So the title is a reference that mostly old people will know. Abbot and Costello, the Stooges, and Lucy all did versions of the skit.  It's not that funny, but it's what popped into my head. I didn't even realize I was starting to bend at mile 70, but people mentioned how bad I looked in the pics. Oh, those are nothing...Tanya stopped taking pics or messaging the people when I got bad. She was, um, busy.  But back to the story.

Mindy got me back to Dry Lake. It was still cold, but I knew it would get hot before too long. I wanted hot chocolate, of course, but there wasn't any. There weren't any saltines either. Pancakes? All gone. I'm pretty sure it was here that Tammy made me a hot chocolate substitute by making coffee with cream and maple syrup. Not bad! Tanya seemed to finagle some pancakes out of them, too and made me a second cup of coffee. Feeling pretty good. Tammy also gave me her short sleeved patagonia TMR tee for later. I love our people.

I hope I said thank you to Mindy. I am pretty sure I gave Rick a kiss. And then Tanya, Tammy, and I were off. It was cold, but bright sunshine. The trail was rockyish, but okay. Then we ran into a guy standing in the trail. He was a little freaked. There's a moose! He said it was right in the trail, but had moved a little off. We thought he was far enough and facing the other way that maybe we could go...till we saw the other bull moose on the trail. We were so close to these guys. Tammy broke into song, "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine..." very loudly. The moose didn't take any time, but moved right off. Enough that we felt okay to go. The guy let us go first. In fact, he seemed like he might be faster, but was definitely good with me, Tammy, and Tanya leading the way.

So I knew there was some kind of climb, but I didn't hear about it from Craig or PT. I think the rain made the climb out of Olympian so bad for them, they didn't think to warn me about this one. I know that Tanya had been a little worried about staying with me for the climbs. I'm normally a very good uphiller while her strength is downs. She had told me that if she was struggling on the up to just go, she'd catch up. Well, not only was I not worried since I would have 70 miles on me, but her body loves Colorado and elevation. She and Bucky are like polar opposites. We started to climb and climb. I kept glancing back but she was right with us. 

The climb just kept going. I looked up and said no way am I going up there! But that's just where we went. Shit. Tammy was getting stronger or I was getting slower. Either way, she said she was going ahead and that we'd catch her on the down to Summit. I knew exactly what she meant, but we didn't go the same route that we'd come out so there never was that long dirt road down. We'd never catch her. Go, Tammy!!! 

I was probably 75 miles in now. I told Tanya the right side of my back was really getting sore. It seemed like a knot, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Wait, I'm confused...Billy's Rabbit Hole is around mile 77.  I thought I remembered Tammy eating the pizza they made there. Was that a different runner? I really don't know. I couldn't even look at the pizza. The smell alone made me want to hurl. I am pretty sure they had hot chocolate though...unless this is where Tammy made me my coffee, cream, and maple syrup. That's seeming very likely now. Maybe this is where she left us. 

At any rate, I know things started getting worse out of Billy's. Is it this stretch where I fell, doing a little of a roll out, but still hit my head on a rock? The runner and her dad behind me were really concerned. I said I was pretty sure I was ok, but they seemed to want to make sure I'd tell the next aid station about my head so that. They were really sweet, but I was fine. Tanya confirmed that my roll out pretty much made the fall innocuous. Plus I still had a fleece headband on that likely cushioned me from the rock. My head didn't hurt in a short time. But my back continued to increase it's complaint.

What the fuck! My left lower back was now way more sore than my right. How did that happen?! Tanya offered to try some massage. I was starting to lean forward more, but I was still moving well. Then I noticed I was leaning more to my left. "Tanya, I'm a leaner!!" This was a surprise and revelation to me. I don't even understand the phenomenon. She said I think you are.

When we pulled into Summit, I was pretty bent forward. I wanted to change into my shorts and the tee Tammy lent me. An aid station person suggested going over to her car where I could open a door to provide some privacy. I was heading there trying to figure out the doors when Tanya was there with a chair for me. I was able to sit behind a car door and change. I don't know if I could have without the chair. Ok, all new clothes and just under 20 miles to go with lots of time. 

We set off. I don't think I was totally at a 90 degree bend yet, but I was well on my way. I could stand up straight, but I couldn't take any steps if I did. My legs could only work if I was bent. Seriously bent. What the fuck??? 

I think it was before I was totally bent that I couldn't squat to pee without falling over.  Unfortunately, I had to pee pretty often so was tipping over. Tanya and I couldn't help laugh at me. What else to could we do? But the good thing is I was peeing a lot and it was nice and pale. You wouldn't believe how many people were concerned about my peeing.

That's it for this installment. Bedtime.

RRR - The Redemption Tour - part II

Does anyone sleep good the night before an ultra? Well, not this someone, not ever, so I wasn't too worried about it. I just hoped I did flop too much that Rick was able to get some sleep. It's very hard on him to have me out there. 

I had bought a cheeseburger on my way home (back to the Shack) the night before. It's my go-to breakfast before a long run. I didn't realize it had onions (lots). I pealed them of but it still was strongly flavored. I was able to get probably two thirds down before I tossed it. I did eat another piece of whole wheat bread.

I dressed, made sure my hydration vest was packed correctly and drank coffee until it was time to head over to the start. Rick was going to drop Tanya, Patrick, and me then drive the car back to the condo and walk over to see us go. 

Last year, the early start was probably twice or even three times that of this year. Including Patrick, I think we were under 10. One of the other runners was amazed that I had a pacer; they hadn't read the race info. Sigh, very few do. It's a frustration for race directors.  I told Fred, the race director, that Patrick was going to pace for 100 miles. Without a second's hesitation, Fred said, "If he does that, I'll give him a buckle!" Whoohoo!!!!

Did I mention the weather yet? All week it looked like there could be the isolated t-storms and hail again like last year.  I wasn't looking forward to it but felt like I had packed better for what we experienced. Mute point; the weather was perfect! Bright sunshine and in the 40s. Of course that's how we started last year, but this would hold. I'm pretty sure I was pushing down my sleeves before I reached the halfway point of the first climb. Going up generates lots of warm.

At the first aid station, Patrick showed that he was a great pacer even if it was his first time. He had asked what I needed as we approached. He skillfully retrieved and filled my empty flasks from the back of my vest while I had the front ones that I used on the climb topped off. There were pancakes! I grabbed two halves and downed them with some water. Thanks, Tammy, for the cup since I left mine at home. Turns out most aid stations weren't cupless, but I was happy to save a cup where I could.

The next 5ish miles should have been very familiar, but I saw them last year in heavy hail and mist. The trails were definitely new to me and so much more runnable. When we got to the turn off to Fish Creek Falls, I reminded him one of the the caveats to pacing me was that he couldn't laugh at me (outwardly) on this down. I remembered it as treacherous. I'd almost lost one of my poles over the edge last year. Well, I might have still been awkward and funny in this stretch, but without the wetness from the rain, it was definitely easier to handle. Also the rocky treacherous stretch wasn't the entire down like I remembered.

We were happy that Bucky hadn't caught us yet. The plan was for him to slowly real us in, maybe by Long Lake, 24 miles in. I felt good running into Fish Creek aid station. Our people were there but I didn't want anything more than Tailwind. Hell yeah!  Heading back out and up.

It wasn't long till we ran into Bucky. Hey, slow down!! He assured us he was doing good and was to plan. We accepted that and continued with a smile. Patrick was with me for all the good miles!  He'd never been to Colorado before so all the cool running miles were fun to see through his eyes, but he also is a climber. As he eyed the terrain, I learned about the different kinds of climbing and saw the terrain through his climbing eyes.

We ran on, sometimes power walking through terrain that I thought would make me fall. Patrick would tell me each mile where we banked lots of time. We were doing good. After we left Summit aid station, we started to wonder when Bucky would catch us. We were starting to worry about him. Patrick tried to text Bucky and then call. Nothing. It could be his phone was in air plane mode or not getting a signal. We decided we'd wait a little longer and try again. Nothing. I decided to try Rick. I think we both finally got through around the same time. Bucky was not good, not at all. We were both so sad for him. And then, I realized that would mean no buckle for Patrick. He said that didn't matter at all; he was here for Bucky, after all.

Did I call Mindy or she me? She suggested that Patrick just keep going with me when we get to Dry Lake instead of me picking her up. No. She and Tanya should not come all this way again and not get to pace. We did reach a compromise; I'd keep Patrick to Olympian instead of Dry Lake to give him 50 miles. Squirrel would do 50 to 70, where Tanya would take over as planned.

Periodically, Patrick or I would sigh about Bucky, but we were still enjoying our run. We both said it was all type 1 fun! When we pulled into Dry Lake, both Rick and Mindy said they'd never seen me look so good this far into a race before (well, it was just mile 44). Still, that was good to hear even though I sort of knew it. I chose to stay in my shorts, tee, and sleeves. This may also have been the aid station where Tammy and I would start leap frogging each other. I think she was doing the segments slightly faster than me, but I was in the aid station for less time. At least that's what I think I remember.

Olympian is a different kind of aid station. It's right in town and inside a building. Only the runner and pacer can go in. Crew can see you outside, but they don't feel it's a big enough space for everyone to be in. I had a fairly well-stocked drop bag here and the stuff Rick brought in my portable drop bag. Seems to me, first time through, I didn't change much. It was also right around then I started to get grumpy. Patrick had happy me; Mindy got bitchy me. Is that because I knew could be bitchy with Mindy or was it just that time?

We joined Tammy and Kenny (she picked him up for the Olympian Loop) on the climb out of Olympian. We'd heard from Jedi, Craig, and PT what a bitch it was. I'm pretty sure that was due to the slippery, wet conditions that year. This was just a drag since it wasn't pretty (in the dark) and just a long up on a pretty stupid dirt road. Tammy and Kenny were moving well. We probably could have stayed with them longer, but I felt like truly doing my own pace and not spreading my grump. I'd save that all for Mindy. lol. 

She swears I wasn't as bad as I remember. She did her best to chatter and cheer. I think shortly after the climb I started to get cold. Shit. Why didn't I put on warm stuff? Well, I had my rain jacket and some gloves with latex gloves inside. That helped. It was somewhere in here that my lower right side of my back first complained. Then I complained to Mindy about my stomach. She said it was her fault for talking about pizza, but soon I was doing some hurling. It was pretty much all liquid. I had been sticking with almost all tailwind since food sounded horrible. Oh, and of course, having hot chocolate any place I could get it.

I don't think it was Mindy mentioning pizza. The tailwind had been very inconsistently mixed over the course. Some was super concentrated and some had me wondering if they'd given me water by accident. I think on this stretch, it was a mix that wasn't absorbing like it should so I just needed to purge some of the liquid hanging out in my stomach. After 3 or 4 pukes, I seemed to reset just fine. But I was freezing!! Mindy helped me get into  my space poncho (space blanket material made into a poncho). Ask Mindy about the headlamp on the poncho hood. I guess I was a sight. It did the trick though. I warmed fairly fast. The only issue was the long straws from my hydration flasks were getting wrapped up in the mylar.  It became very hard to get sips. Sigh. 

We came back to Olympian, but found the course very confusing and poorly marked trying to get back to the aid station. We added a little distance, but finally got it figured out. Mindy may or may not have spoken sternly to another runner who led us astray at first.

One nice feature of this aid station was that I could head to the ladies' room to change. I retrieved my warm tights, my long sleeved TMR shirt and a heavy Sports Hill top to go over that. I also made sure to pick up my new Walmart mittens (it seems a last minute walmart purchase is necessary for every ultra). All changed, we looked for food I might want. Hot chocolate!!! Hmm, saltines, that sounded smart and promising.

We sat next to Tammy. Was it here that she really started complaining about her feet? The trails were very mean to feet. I commiserated. Was it here that Tammy said that she wanted to drop, but Kenny wouldn't let her. Kenny's an asshole. This made me smile because I can't imagine anyone telling Tammy what she can and cannot do. But it worked for her; she was continuing. 

Rick was standing at the window looking in. He looked a little lost somehow. I wished he could come in, but I was being taken care of. I think it might have been now that Mindy tried to get me to take an Advil. I think I was complaining about my back more. I said after I ate more saltines. She tried to suggest, too. Her methods cracked Tammy up. It was like she was my pusher. One will be fine.

I'm not sure if we left first or Tammy, but we'd be with her again at Dry Lake either way. Just about 7 miles to Dry Lake. We'd have the coldest temperatures of the race, but we'd also get the sunrise! Mindy said she no longer had bitchy me. I do remember my spirits rising after leaving Olympian and rising even more with the sun. Somehow, the 60 miles are never my friend.

This is a good place for a break.  More to come.

Run Rabbit Run - the Redemption Tour

In order to understand this better, you may want to go back to read about RRR 2022.  You may not though; it's a lot of reading. I'll give just a brief summary of last year to save you. I was not as trained as I should have been and gave in to a rookie mistake of not waiting long enough to see if I could recover before calling it. Bucky and Tammy both were coming back for their own redemption.  

So, I trained better. I put in over 250 more training miles with way more hill repeats. I definitely felt stronger. Rick swore he would remind me to sit and recover before making any decisions. No quitting! I was feeling as confident as is smart for a 100.

Mindy and Tanya were both in early on for pacing again, well really neither of them even got the opportunity to pace last year. Sigh. I would do the early start again. That would give me an extra hour if needed (the plan was not to need it, but if being 63 gets me something, I'll take it!).

Bucky's issue last year was with elevation.  His body hates it. The plan was for him to try meds for that and to take his time in the beginning where you quickly (shortly?) reach the highest elevation.  He would then catch up to me and run with me to Dry Lake where I'd pick up Mindy as my first pacer. Then! Bucky was lucky enough to have Patrick decide to pace for him!! Jokingly, I told Patrick he could get more miles if he wanted; he could run with me from the start to Fish Creek Falls, the second aid station, about 18 miles. He laughed. It wasn't long until I heard the new plan. Patrick wanted to run with me to Dry Lake where he'd become Bucky's pacer. He was going to do the full 100!!! What?! That's crazy, but so cool. Now the plan was pretty much the same as before except that I would have company while waiting for Bucky to catch up with us! 

Rick and I flew out a week early to do our usual acclimating at Breckenridge. This was our 5th time doing just that.  3 of the 4 Never Summer 100k's we did just that and for RRR last year. We love Breck. The downtown has great restaurants and it's nestled just right in the mountains. We sleep at over 9,000' and get over 10,000' every day. Neither of us even got the slightest headache this year. Elevation is not my enemy. Of course it's harder to breathe, but I don't get the other shit.

I was going to say Squirrel and Pete were the second ones out, but I guess we were. Tammy and Kenny drove out with the dogs earlier and hung out in the Durango area till the race. Squirrel was the day after us. They stayed in Silverthorn again. They like the hiking from there and Pete loves the fishing. Bucky and family, Tanya, and Patrick came out the Wednesday before the race. We all converged on Steamboat around the same time on the day before.  

We were staying in the Love Shack. Sarah found the perfect place, although when Rick and I first pulled in we were doubtful. It didn't look like it would fit us all, but it turned out TARDIS-like, bigger on the inside. It was home to the Loves, Patrick, Tanya, Rick and me, but we all space.

I'm going to do my best to remember as much of the race as I can. Right now, the last 8 that I did are etched into my DNA. There were so many other miles. I'll work to recover them. Next installment, the race.

The Last Two Days of May

 May 30th:

    Verb Tense 

If people have read much of my stuff or follow me on FaceBook, they know I take lots of pictures of dead things, mostly dead animals.  It's not that I like that they are dead, but, since they are, I take the opportunity to enjoy them.  I take their pictures and admire them.  I've helped Bucky harvest parts, poked and prodded to learn about them, and made them a Bingo square on more than one occasion.

Dead.  Dead is fine.  Dying is another story.  Just a different tense, but so different in meaning.  I was driving on a road I don't usually go on.  Whoa!  A dead coyote!  I pulled over to get a pic.  I was down the road a few hundred feet so that I had a good place to pull off.  I got my camera out, but as I was walking up to it, I saw its side rise and fall.  Shit.  Shit.  Shit.  It was alive.  I walked closer, but it was still flat, breathing hard.  I switched from camera to phone. I tried to call the Lewiston police, but of course just got a message instructing me to call 911 if this was an emergency and to call XXX-XXXX if I needed to speak with someone.  Ugh!!! So frustrating.  There was no way I could remember that number.

An SUV pulled up to me.  "Are you OK?"  Yes, but a coyote was hit by a car and it's still alive.  She asked me if I wanted her to call the Sabattus police.  Are we in Sabattus?  Yes.  Oh, yes, please!!!  She pulled ahead to get off the road.  I looked back to see the coyote raise its head to look back across its body.  My heart was breaking.  If I had a gun, I would have helped it along.  I had thought about the shovel in my car, but did not want to risk hurting us both even more.

I walked to the SUV.  She said the dispatcher wanted to talk to me.  Had I hit the coyote?  No.  Would I wait there?  Yes.  They took my name and number.  They said it would be about seven minutes.

The woman in the SUV asked again if I was OK.  I assured her I was and that she should go.  She wanted to be sure I really wanted her to leave, but she had small kids in the back.  Yes, I'm good.  Thank you so much!

I headed back towards the coyote, but not wanting to get too close.  I didn't want to add to its stress.  It raised its head and looked back on its body again.  I tried to call Mindy.  No answer.  Bucky.  Right to voicemail.  I knew Rick was mowing the lawn.  I called Sam.  Keep me company while I wait for the police to put a coyote out of its misery?  Of course.  Then I noticed its side was no longer heaving.  I walked closer.  There was no motion.  A real sadness displaced my urgent mission.  Sam, I don't need you to keep me company any more; it's dead.  The stress of its pain was no longer on me.

I also wanted to call Sabattus back to let them no it had died. This is Valerie Abradi, I'd called about the coyote.  It's dead.  They asked me how I knew.  Um, it's not breathing any more.  It peed itself.  It's eyes are dead.  Ok, you don't have to wait.  I asked if they were still coming.  Yes.  I took pictures.  The ticks all over it just added another level of insult.

My sadness lingered.  I hadn't helped. I didn't ease its pain.  Being there could have been a comfort to a human or a pet, but not to a wild animal.  It was a few hours later, still feeling remorse, I wondered why they had told me to wait when the coyote was alive, but then I should leave once it was dead.  I drove over to find the coyote still there.  That's why I could go; they weren't coming.  I felt betrayed.

It wasn't until the next day I was able to feel ok about them leaving the coyote there.  Maybe they eventually got around to it, but better for the vultures, crows, and other scavengers to have a meal than for the body to go to waste.  Dead and dying are very different. And who the hell hit this creature and did not stop to check to see if it was dead?!

May 31st:

Mind Games Forever

Wednesday means hill repeats at Lost Valley.  I've been doing an hour and 45 minutes up and down the same slope we did the hill challenge on at TWMiH.  I've consistently gotten 17 reps so far this season.  This was the first hot one.  It was already 80 by the time I started at 10:30am.

It took me a while before I stopped thinking every sweat drip down my leg was a tick; there have been so many ticks this year.  But stopping to check was not helping my hills.  They are not ticks, they are not ticks... 

There was a decent wind right at the base of the hill, but the trees along side of the slope blocked it all as soon as I started to climb which meant the black files were out in force.  It's sad when you're almost happy to get one in your eye - one less black fly in the world!  The ones stuck to my face started to annoy me since I could see them in the periphery.  Some even seemed to be swimming in the sweat.  OK, that thought made me laugh...a little.

I started having little negotiations with my body parts.  Arms, you are responsible for the ups.  Pole well.  The legs will handle the downs.  My arms complained that it was running; they should not be involved.  But they did not sway us.

About an hour in, my left knee began to complain about a sharp stabbing pain.  HtFU!!  Wait a minute there!  Entire left leg is always complaining and you don't do anything. Just once and I get harden the fuck up?  Sigh.  You are the good leg.  Without you, I don't have a leg to stand on.  My head was very happy with itself.

Did I mention that Lost Valley had two very large sprinklers watering the lawn in front of the lodge?  That really is right next to where I was running.  I told myself and the guy who set up the sprinkler that I was running through that when I was done.  Once or twice I tried to convince myself to do it between reps, but, my real brain ruled; we said that was the reward for finishing, besides, you don't need to be any wetter than you are from sweat.  Your shoes would just be heavier and we don't need the legs complaining any more than they are.

Well, with about 6 laps to go, I noticed they'd turned off the sprinklers.  Sigh.  Well, the reward is doing it.  HtFU all of you.  I looked at my watch.  Was I going to get 17 laps done in the hour fortyfive?  That's ok, you're doing it by time, not distance.  I mulled that as I went up again.  Hmm, Run Rabbit will not be shorter if the weather sucks.  Ok, 17 laps minimum even if it's past the time.

Lap 15, did the black flies leave?  Hallelujah! Little mini celebration mostly by my face and eyes.  And look at the time!  I think we're going to get the laps done is time!!  Even it the heat, the parts kept it together.  Well done body!  Back at my car, I may not have had a sprinkler run, but the iced lime seltzer seemed pretty much a reward.

S&S of Old

 Yesterday I set out on a run from Scoutland after 5 or 6 inches of fresh snow.  The wind was making it feel quite cold, single digits.  The snow was over top of a mess of conditions.  The previous warm temps had made lots of mud and puddles as well has some areas that were slick ice.  My microspikes bit on very little.  The snow came down light, with very little moisture, but below it became wet with the mud and puddles.  In real cold, you don't expect clumping on your spikes to be an issue.

I was complaining very loudly in my head about all of it, whining even.  Great, now I could add plunging into water to my list of annoyances.  I couldn't even get the clump on my left cleat to break up.  I had to take it off to whack it on a tree.  It was still a battle to free it.  I thought about how I always say I never regret the run once I'm out there.  Hmph!

Something about the view then reminded me of one of Scout and Squirrels runs probably 10 or 11 years ago.  The snow we were breaking trail on had this beat by at least a foot.  We were doing the Beautiful Loop, not some little 5 miles with home right there.  It started me thinking about many of our runs.  Where had that Scout gone?  We embraced the shitty conditions.  It made the run that much more epic.  Scoutland to Triffittville we didn't even really know where we were half the time.  Sigh.

While this reflecting was going on, I was getting miles done.  They were still shitty, but I found a little perspective.  I'm going to have to channel that Scout.  I need her for my training and completing of RRR.  All buckle.  Find the fun.  

2022 RRR - Spectator Now

Rick drove Squirrel, Bucky, and me back.  We saw the part of the course that went through town.  They had volunteers out making sure what little traffic there was stopped for the runners.  I'm sure we talked about our run, but now it has all faded.  We were at Bucky's condo in no time, then back to the hotel in even less.  

I think it was before I was out of the shower, Rick was saying he'd made a rookie mistake.  He should have had me sit longer.  I said I made a rookie mistake.  I should have sat longer.  I think back to how bad I was 65 miles in at Ozarks.  I was a mess, but I was also out where there was no easy way back.  Rick was pacing me.  No one was at the aid station with a ride back.  I may have been worse then, but I took a nap.  I stopped thinking maybe I was a medical issue, ate a pbj, and they gave me hot chocolate, godammit!!!  Well, too late now.  

I'd run enough to have the fitful sleep, not long enough to just crash.  Shit.  All of the bad with none of the "I did it!"  I was awake before Rick.  I tried to be quiet.  The race played over in my head.  I thought of our friends still going.  Did I know Tammy had called it before we went to sleep...I'm fuzzy on that now.  

Rick roused.  We went over details again.  I popped the beer that I didn't have on the way back.  Morning beer :) Squirrel came over.  We heard from Ann.  She came over with "sippies".  Crap!  Jedi was calling it.  He got a ride back.  

Breakfast happened.  Really good breakfast.  I think it was Bucky, Mindy, Tanya, Kristen, Rick, and me.  Ann was back at the hotel with Jedi.  After breakfast we went to pick up some beers.  We wanted to get over to the finish line.  The day was gorgeous.  Blue skies, warm, and comfortable.  Runners were finishing.  We tried to follow Craig and PT, but the tracking was spotty.  When you're in the mountains, it's amazing you can get any news!  We also were paying attention to the 50 mile race since we had Dana and Don running.

There was music, beers, kidding, rooting, and remorse.  It was pretty early that I said I had to come back.  "Well, damn Scout, if you're coming back, I guess I am too," or something like that immediately came out of Bucky.  Forget never running another race in altitude again; it's on!  Tammy V was all in, too.  So it's on for 2023.  We have a lot to figure out, but I'm already looking forward to it.

I have to mention that I felt bad because I didn't feel bad, meaning that I probably should have continued.  I wasn't really sore.  All my parts were working.  I started running up a long flight of outside stairs telling Bucky I could beat him up.  That I did tells you he was still being affected by altitude.  I was both delighted at beating him and remorseful that I could run up the stairs.

And then as it started getting dark, with hundred milers still coming in, there was a slight, "oh, that could be me."  We'd had a entire day of fun .....

I never got around to finishing this.  I just redid my training schedule for this year.  Official training starts 4/3/23,  I'm ready.  I'm sporting a bracelet Bucky had made.  It says, "No Puke.  All Buckle."  I won't take it off until buckle!  I like the slogan, but I know it's all buckle, even if puke.  This is a good lead in to my next post.  The reason I logged on to find this unpublished piece.  I'll write it up tomorrow.